


The Bible 2.0

by H03



Category: Christian Bible, Christian Bible (New Testament), Christian Bible (Old Testament), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H03/pseuds/H03
Summary: the new and improved bible
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

g-nome. he. fox-news.


	2. the 9 sinners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a list of people who are confirmed sinners (not clickbait) in our religion. preach this message to others. and please, as always, take my blessing.

-the kid that cheated when you were playing limbo in junior infants. the devil. why would you bend over forward? nobody cares about your nanny back we want justice. you are literal demon spawn i really just cannot with these people. 

-people who enjoy eating burnt popcorn. are they even human? the answer is no. they have been sent out againt us, like kpop stans but instead of worshipping hot korean boys they worship nasty-ass lookin popcorn.

-anyone that proceeds to eat your m&s chicken. this is a personal story that happened to me quite recently in which i was betrayed by my own clan. some say i have only come here to preach to get rid of sinners like them. that is very true, but i would continue to preach whether or not that happened. i say we eradicate this race that cannot even be considered human at that point, so we can save more good people from having m&s chicken eaten on them.

-the number f*ur. saying it without censorship shall lead to getting the bad ending when you die. for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq07hPEQKR0 . now i know you might be wondering, what if you have to say the number in a conversation? you can ask for my blessing beforehand, or if its too late you can ask for a forrgiveness blessing and i will do what i can.

-people who dont approve of dr phil. i shouldnt even have to explain this one.

-producers of stickers that arent removed easily. there is not one person in this world who enjoys scratching the papery remains of a cheap sticker off of an object. curse these producers. cancel them.

-people whom be out there gettin non-chill on purpose for clout. please calm down. agressiveness is cringe. stay chill, homies.

-scrunchie deprivators. or any hair tie or hair product in general. people who take them without your consent are pure concentrated evil, just like all the other people on this list, they need to be punished.

-marge simpson haters. how evil does one have to be to hate the krump-master herself. she is a godess that must be worshipped by every being in this and every other universe.

that is my word i speak to yall. do not become any of these or i will send you to the underworld, which i will be explaining in the next chapter. stay blessed.


End file.
